


White Elephant In The Room

by Missy



Category: Psych
Genre: Crack, Gen, Gift Giving, Humor, White Elephant Gift Exchange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-23 02:18:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11393325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: Everyone's plans to participate in a white elephant gift exchange gets a little out of hand.





	White Elephant In The Room

“Shawn,” said Juliet, staring down at the certificate he’d just handed her, “I don’t know what you think I’m going to do with this, but I don’t really have any use for a bee hive.”

Shawn beamed. “I know, right? White elephant gift exchanges are the best thing ever.”

“But Shawn – a whole beehive?”

He frowned. “But you’re my little honeybee, Jules!” 

She moaned. “I don’t know why we decided to do a white elephant exchange this year. Carlton’s going to try to top us all anyway.” She handed him a picture. “Here’s a picture of the twenty bunnies I sent overseas in your name.”

He gasped. “You could not have thought of a more glorious gift. I’ll treasure it forever.”

“I bet Lassiter won’t top that,” she said smugly. 

“But that’s why I’m here. To top his topping, until I’m the sweet whipped cream on top of his four layer anger sundae…” Shawn quieted down when Lassiter cockily strolled up to Juliet’s desk, handing out certificates. 

She raised an eyebrow. “A certificate for the gun shop down the street.”

“I thought you might want to buy yourself a new piece,” he said. “I saw you reassembling it the other day and it seemed like it was starting to come together a bit more loosely than usual.”

Shawn just gaped at his present. “You bought me a horse?”

“A stake in a horse,” said Carlton. “I couldn’t afford the whole thing. Apparently you can ride it for an hour every Saturday, but only on Saturdays; something about its temperament, the owner was quite vague – that was not an invitation to hug me, and if you don’t let go I’m going to put you in a chokehold.”

Shawn clung to him just a bit harder before letting go. “Embrace the love, Lassie!”

“I’d rather embrace your throat between my hands,” he said. “Where’s Guster? I’m still holding onto his gift.”

“He said he was going to be by in a little while – he had to stop someplace…” They both trailed off as the distinct sound of air breaks sounded from the hallway. All three of them rushed to find out what had happened, only to find Gus steering himself awkwardly down the hallway, bumping into desks and avoiding people by inches.

“You got me a golf cart?” Shawn presumed.

“This is not a golf cart, Shawn,” Gus said. “This is the Blueberry Mach II, sleek, slim and ready to take the whole world on!”

Shawn gasped, put a grasping hand on the wheel and gave it a fond pat. “She seems cement-worthy, and ready to take down a horde of garbage cans.”

“I am not going to let you drive that thing on a city sidewalk, Spencer,” Lassiter bristled.

“Oh Lassie, where’s your Patriotism? Isn’t it my inalienable right as an American citizen to do donuts in the precinct’s parking lot?”

“Actually, it’s probably illegal,” Juliet said. 

Shawn pouted and gave her a look. Gus was holding out a coupon for a massage and wine tour in Sonoma and giving her one of his ‘come join the joy ride’ adventures. 

“I guess we could let them do it if we watch them?” Juliet suggested to Lassie.

He sighed. “Only for five minutes, and not without my say-so!”

“ALL RIGHT! Come on, Lassie!” Shawn yelled, packing himself into the cart beside Gus. Lassiter and Juliet followed suit.

They only managed to crash the cart into two different people on the way out the door.


End file.
